Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Writer Reflects on Becoming a Parent and Social Life

James Glave, writing for Parenting magazine, shares his story of what the transition to parenthood did to his social life with the guys. Here's an illustrative excerpt:

[Men] tend to connect by doing something active, such as a hike or a round of golf, typically arranged the night before.

We all know what happens next. When baby makes three, the abrupt lifestyle change spells an end to these spontaneous expeditions. Forget about spending Saturday afternoon with Mike and Dave at the climbing gym -- unless you want to unleash the wrath of your exhausted wife. You need to be physically present, grabbing the burp cloth, emptying that Diaper Genie, and covering for your beloved while she sneaks out for a desperately needed salt glow treatment, whatever that is.

Gone is what Glave calls the "dudescape." After a few years, however, he and some friends came up with a way to reinvent the male-bonding experience.

... we created our own, limited version of the dudescape. Call it the "dadscape."

I have fewer guy friends now than I used to, and we're not yet booking road-trip weekends together. Instead, we'll head out for a brisk hike around the lake. It's all stuff in the neighborhood; we're still within cell-phone "recall" range.

The article didn't mention Glave's age, but his story would seem applicable to many emerging-adult males.